A cereal café-yes a café that serves cold cereal-is opening in London next month. Called the Cereal Killer Café, it will serve more than 100 different types of breakfast cereals all day long in a strange homage to our processed food obsession.
According to Mashable, the Cereal Killer Café “is the brainchild of two identical twins from Belfast, Alan and Gary Keery, who have sourced treats from America, France, Australia, South Africa and South Korea.”
The restaurant (can we call it that?) will be decorated “with cereal ephemera, including bike reflectors and milk bottles,” Mashable explains. “The cafe will offer the likes of Lucky Charms, Trix and Corn Pops with 12 types of milk (including rice, soya, almond, oat and hazelnut varieties) and 20 toppings from Oreos to marshmallows.”
There will also be Pop-Tarts and “stomach-challenging cocktail creations that mash up cereals, toppings and milk.”
Toast restaurants, which have popped up in cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco, make sense. Toast is a simple breakfast staple; it can be made of wholesome whole-grain bread. And it has other applications besides breakfast food. Top it with lettuce and veggies or grilled tofu and avocado for a healthy meal anytime.
But a cereal café? That’s just further validating our dependence on processed foods-you know the kind where we take away all the nutrients in processing and then add them back in via “fortification”, with artificially colored marshmallows in tow.
The idea is kitschy-who doesn’t love old memorabilia that reminds us of our childhood, even if it’s promoting our unhealthy sugar addiction?-but it’s also saying that it’s okay to eat sugary cereals and Pop-Tarts, even when we know that’s not the case.
So, here’s a better idea for the Keery brothers: Keep the ephemera intact but serve the complete opposite of unhealthy breakfast junk and processed foods. Serve whole grain oatmeal and breads with toppings like coconut oil, hummus or fresh fruit and vegetables. Then, you’ll really be living up to the name “Cereal Killer” with a refreshing spin.
Image: Ian Ransley Design
