Most parenting experts agree that giving children choices helps them to develop independence. The more choices you give, the more their sense of self grows. But, is there such a thing as giving too many choices? Yes.
One hot day in June, I was helping out at my kids' local elementary school's Fun Day where one of the moms was handing out snow cones. There was a choice of five colors: red, green, blue, orange, and yellow. Some children were indecisive about which color to take and so the line-up got longer and longer. Some gave up waiting and left, feeling angry and frustrated. Those that stayed ended up missing some of the Fun Fair. In the organizers' defense, they were being democratic and it seemed appropriate at the time. Clearly the reality was quite different. It was unnecessary to offer this many choices. Had there been only one choice of flavor, I assure you that the line-up that day would have been just as long and the kids would have been happy with getting a cold refreshing treat.
As parents, we don't have to always give children choices. If you are guilty of offering too many choices, cut back. Decide which choices really help your child evaluate and process. For example, giving her a choice in the middle of a power struggle is far more effective in building her sense of self than giving her a choice over red or blue socks.
